The Sacred Art of Discernment: Knowing When to Step In and When to Step Back

There is an art, a sacred dance, in knowing when to step forward and when to lean back.

It is a rhythm that invites us to move in harmony with life's unfolding, rather than trying to orchestrate every beat.

In our roles as women, nurturers, guides, leaders, and lovers of life, we often feel called to help, fix, or rescue. We see someone struggling. our children, friends, and colleagues, and our instinct is to step in, smooth the path, offer advice, or solve the problem.

It feels caring and right. Yet often, without realising it, we interrupt a deeper process.

We unknowingly rob others of the profound opportunity to stretch, stumble, rise, and find their way through life's challenges.

We may believe we are easing their pain, but in truth, we are often soothing our discomfort at witnessing their struggle.

Discernment is the sacred ability to sense, with clarity and compassion, when to act and when to allow, when to speak and when to hold silence, guided not by fear or discomfort, but by love and wisdom. It is not about passivity, nor is it about controlling outcomes.

It is the mindful ability to sense the true need of the moment to know when to step in with support and when to step back with trust. It is an act of deeply listening to your heart and soul.

Our desire to step in is natural. It is born from love, yet often, it is fuelled by our discomfort, our need to relieve the pain we feel when others suffer.

In my own experience, I have noticed times when my need to help was a hidden act of control, disguised in the garments of kindness. It felt easier to offer solutions than to sit in a space of uncertainty, trusting others, especially my family, to navigate their paths.

True emotional empowerment lives in trust.

Trusting others to find their way.

Trusting oneself to resist the urge to fix.

Trusting that struggle is an essential part of resilience and growth.

Learning how to hold space for others without taking over is one of the most profound gifts we can offer.

It means standing present, with an open heart and quiet hands.

It means breathing through the awkward silences and resisting the impulse to jump in with advice or solutions.

Holding space with discernment allows others to:

• Build their confidence

• Access their inner wisdom

• Strengthen their resilience

• Grow into their authentic selves

Imagine the ripple effect when we choose not to interrupt another's journey but to bless it.

When we say, I believe in you. I trust your process. I am here if you need me.

When we resist the urge to fix, we offer the spaciousness for wisdom to emerge.

In these moments, we become sacred witnesses to the unfolding mystery of another's life.

Practise the Art of Discernment

Discernment is a muscle that we strengthen through presence and awareness.

Here's how to begin:

• Pause when you feel the urge to help.

• Place your hand on your heart and breathe deeply.

• Ask yourself: Is my action fuelled by love or by my discomfort?

• Choose from a place of trust, not fear.

Each moment offers an invitation to stay. Step back. Trust. Witness. Allow.

When you feel the pull to step in, remember that sometimes the greatest act of love is to stand beside someone without taking their journey away from them.

By reclaiming the sacred art of discernment, we free ourselves and others.

We understand that our role is not to rescue, fix, or control but to trust, support, and witness.

We are not here to block each other's self-discovery.

We are here to see each other, to whisper, you are enough, and to celebrate every courageous step, stumble, and triumph.

Let us respect each other's journey.